Wedding March

In the ever changing landscape of America a current issue seems to be the demise of the marital union. Bundled with this subject is the issue of gay marriage. It should come as no surprise that I agree that everyone should have the right to marry regardless of sexual orientation.There are many reasons why I believe it should be legalized, however these reasons have been voiced by many, and in a better way. My question is if and when it is legal for two same sex partners to marry nationwide will gay men and woman take it seriously? Although it may perpetuate a stereotype I have viewed first hand the promiscuity that many homosexuals participate in. Partners who have been together for many years begin to explore open relationships with both agreeing to rules that dictate their sex lives. This seems to work for them. A relationship that consists of true love and mutual respect with just the act of sex being shared with others. No judgement should be passed on those who live in these relations, it is a private agreement between two consenting adults. The same could be said for the single gay person who enjoys sex to the fullest. This is just how it is for a great deal of people in the gay community. I realize that the issue of gay marriage is a sensitive one, and yes a person's lifestyle should not be a factor in a person's right to marry. If that were the case it would be illegal for many people regardless of lifestyle to marry. However it makes me wonder if many gay people will run to the alter in haste and not take the time to think about it. Will the usual questions be asked? Is this person right for me? Do I see myself with this person twenty years from now? Am I truly in love? These questions have entered the minds of every bride and groom at one time or another. Once the right is given, and I believe it will be one day, will it be looked at was an institution of monogamy and love, or just a piece a paper. Gay marriage should be legalized, but it is my opinion that marriage itself should be respected. Do we in the gay community want a high divorce rate to be thrown in our faces by those who oppose gays in general, much less gay marriage? For those of you jumping on the next plane to California, remember you are a reflection of all of us in the community not yet contemplating marriage. Do not give all our opponents more ammunition to fight with, take the time to reflect upon if you are truly ready to walk down that aisle. Yes it should be our right, but is it right for you?

Daddy Dearest

In my recent postings I complained of my graying balding scalp. Although this still remains true, I received a bit of an ego boost today. My partner Dalton and I decided to be domestic today due to the fact that we were out very late last night. The morning started out slow but turned out to be yet another amusing day at Dalton's expense. We ate breakfast and decided to get our hair cut. The establishment we go to is full of eastern European women who seem to have an affinity for my 6'4 tall partner. They treat him very well, and it is a bit flattering for him. On this day however my dear sweet guy was subjected to an off hand question from his stylist. We usually go in together and we assume people get that we are together. We are use to the stares as people try and figure us out. However this young lovely beautiful woman ( whom I tipped very well) asked my Dalton if I was his son. Yes my friends out there in cyber land she thought I was his son. Dalton is only a few years older than me so this question came as surprise to him. Dalton was insulted but was kind to the young lady. In true fashion he replied by stating my age to her. He does this often if someone believes I am a little younger than I am.He gets pleasure out of it although it annoys me to no end. I decided to add a little salt to the wound because of this. My haircut was complete while I waited for him. I decided to step outside to make a call, and as I did I walked up to the stylists' station and said "I'll be right back Dad, I'm stepping outside".I walked through the door with the young women's giggle echoing in my ear.

Fifteen Minutes Too Long

Andy Warhol once stated everyone will have fifteen minutes of fame. This seems evident in the constant creation of some reality television that is flooding American TV. I will be the first to admit I love a good competitive reality show. Competitive being the operative word. I like to watch people compete for a prize by showcasing their talent. Another operative word being talent. However it seems as if television is becoming bombarded with men and women with no particular talent but certain attributes that make them famous. By attributes I mean body parts, money, and maybe a sex tape or two. My question is have we gotten to the point with American TV that we are actually watching rich kids run around attracting photographers for no other reason than they have a reality television show that showcases their day to day lives. It would be easy to dislike the "stars" that fall into this category, but is it their fault? No it is not. It is our fault collectively. They are doing a job. They earning lots of money for nothing. I am jealous of that, but I cannot fault them for doing it. Our media and television executives are creating these sub celebrities because it makes money, and money makes us happy. The trouble is we created this generation of media whores, and given them a certain power over the next generation. We are allowing a new generation of fame seekers to be created by letting them watch these shows. The new American dream for our kids is to be famous no matter what it costs. Johnny Doe wants to be rich and famous, so what is he to do? He has no talent that would make him a commodity in Hollywood. Apparently all he has to do is sleep with a reality show star (which I assume is not difficult) and videotape it. Sell it to the media, and sit and wait for a rush of photographers to follow him to the supermarket. Johnny will have made it. Its time to prioritize. This is why the rest of the world hates us.

Reply All

I have the great fortune of being part of a tight knit family. Like many Hispanic families this tapestry extends to aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Since my move to the windy city I have realized how the power of modern technology has become an intricate part of maintaining this closeness. Years ago family members who were living in different parts of the country and the world were forced to communicate via Sunday night phone calls and hand written letters. These days email and free night time minutes have revolutionized the communication process. I agree with some when it comes to overuse. You know, that person in the supermarket line yelling into their cell phones for the whole world to hear, but when it comes to the tightly woven threads of family it is a plus. Email has become the tool of choice for my family. Family updates, get togethers, requests, and yes demands fly through our in boxes like birds overhead. They are frequent and impossible to ignore. Each email contains the personality of the one sending it. There's my comical uncle replying to a question with sarcasm. My take charge aunt listing what everybody should bring to the barbecue, and my mother who will not be ignored. Some of us fall into the category of tell me what to bring and what time. These are just a few examples of the characters that comprise my family. Then there are the serious emails. The family issues that need to be addressed. A family member who needs our support. The updates on cousins fighting for our country, new pregnancies, and new adventures. The emails are daily with one or two responding to a question that has been asked. My patch of the family quilt extends to Chicago. I along with my sister in California am physically removed from the family. The core remains in Dallas, along with the heart of it all, my grandparents. They recently jumped onto the email bandwagon. I realize that a phone call or a letter sent is more to their liking. However, email has kept me in constant contact with everybody. The family squabbles however big or small read like a Thanksgiving dinner conversation. The invention of email has gotten some people in trouble. They get fired from their jobs for accidentally sending a remark to everyone in the company when it was meant for one person. Pictures that are sent for one persons eyes are intercepted for all to see.However with all this the fact of the matter simply remains , for me at least, that it has kept my family as tight as ever. I look forward to seeing them when I log on to my computer. With one swift click of the reply all button I am back in Dallas at a family barbecue conversing as if I never left.

Clean and Clear and out of Control

I have experienced a most embarrassing moment recently. The other night I needed to run to the grocery store across the street. It was about ten in the evening and the store was closing soon. I put on my shoes and jacket and ran across the parking lot in a hurry. When I arrived I rushed through the aisles to grab the items I needed. There were only about 3 or 4 people there at the time. I got in line and the checker began to scan my items. As she did this a horrifying realization dawned upon me. I had recently developed a zit on my forehead and an hour before I had put cream on said zit. There I stood in front of this teenage girl with a white cream glaring off my forehead. If I had realized it when i got home, it would have been better. It would have been over and done with, but I didn't. I realized it in line. I could feel my entire head turn ten shades of red. I looked towards the floor avoiding eye contact. She was polite and sweet, but I knew what she was thinking. This idiot needs to wash his face. I slowly and cautiously began to lick my finger and tried to wipe the area clean. I waited till she wasn't looking. If that were not enough I had requested a pack of cigarettes from her and she was not of age to sell them to me so she had to call her manager to come and scan them. The manager at the time was helping someone else so she did not come for about 3 minutes. Three of the longest minutes of my life. When she was done I grabbed my bag and rushed out of the store. I got home and began to chastise Dalton for not giving me a heads up. He said he did not notice it before I left. Needless to say I try to do all my shopping before the late night crew comes on. I was humiliated.

Sex and The City

The new Sex and the City movie is coming out soon. I have not been this excited since Daniel Craig exited the ocean in his little blue speedo in the OO7 movie. I have a date with a friend of mine to go and see it the first day it comes out. Yes I am one of those queens that loves it, but how could you not. Speaking of this my partner and posed a question to each other. Which character do most identify with? I always thought I was a combination of Charlotte and Carrie. He thought he was most like Miranda. Although it is my opinion that we are all Carrie. The other characters were an extreme part of Carrie's personality. Her cynicism....Miranda. Her promiscuity....Samantha, and her optimism towards love...Charlotte. Thats what I love about the show. Who are you?

I've fallen and I can't get up.

This is a little mean but I can't help it. Saturday my partner Dalton and I decided to stay in and watch movies, and by watch movies I mean get drunk and order any stupid show on cable. We like to do this often because the bar scene has worn thin for us. Don't get me wrong its fun every once in a while but when your in a relationship the only reason to go out there is to socialize. Most of the new people we have met here are single, so their out looking for a little slap and tickle. If they are all looking to hook up that leaves us to sit there and drink. So we stay home and drink because first its cheaper, and second there is no point to go to a bar (Especially a gay one) if your not out to meet someone. Anyways back to my story. We were drinking and having fun when it happened. Dalton got up to go to the kitchen. He stood up and got tangled up in a table tray. He reached his hand out to catch himself on the wall but missed. There he went falling towards the floor. He could not brace himself in time to soften the blow. He fell to the floor like a broom handle, straight down. In the initial chaos I was concerned because he made no sound. I jumped up and ran to him, there he lay like a turtle who had fallen on its shell. I asked if he were okay, and he replied yes. Then I did it. I helped him up and bit my tongue as long as I could. Laughter erupted from me. I could not stop laughing. He was okay after all. I just cannot help myself when I see someone take a tumble (AS long as they are okay) I laugh. I have no prejudices when it come to it. I've laughed at my mother when she tripped at the lake when I was a kid. She tripped and rolled down a small hill. I laughed when a kid at the movies tripped on the stairs in front of me. I laughed when a man who was yelling at his kid outside of the school I worked at tripped on the stairs, and then turned to me and said boy the stairs must be moving. I laugh if I trip and fall. Its just a character flaw I guess, but I cannot help it. Is it wrong?

Just for Men

I recently turned 31 years old and something shifted in my body chemistry. I have been losing my hair for a couple of years now ( I blame my partner, he is a handful) and have come to terms with it. Its not one of those crown dissipation's but a receding hairline. Again I'm dealing with it. However, in recent weeks several little white monsters have begun to invade my follicles, gray hair people. Now mind you I can deal with one or the other but mother nature has the audacity to deal me a double blow. I only have so much hair left, is it too much to ask to at least keep it dark. I'm afraid of dying it because I do not want the chemicals from the dye to increase my hair loss. What is a guy to do? In the grand scheme of things it should not matter, but I am shallow when it comes to myself. Not conceited , but shallow. One option is to shave my head, but I really do not want to look like a cue ball. Also I'm not one of those people who would look good with a shaved head. I feel this payback for all the jokes I crack at my friend's expense ( Sports Nut in Dallas) Joe. He has been going gray for as long as I have known him. Yes he is much older than me ( He participated in the Stonewall riots) but he is not losing his, just going gray. This is not fair. I will not go down without a fight.

I have been incredibly slacking when it comes to this blog, I have decided to re establish it. I have been hibernating this winter, my first in Chicago, and have now woken from my deep sleep. Its amazing how you learn to adjust in such harsh weather. I made it through though. My partner and I are planning a trip to Florida for a family reunion of sorts. It is mt grandparents 50Th anniversary and we are celebrating it with my entire family at a beach house in Destin. We were thinking of renting a hotel room to avoid any awkwardness we might feel but decided we would miss all the drama that may ensue when you gather a whole family together. I have not seen my entire family in 6 months. I was lucky enough to be visited by my Uncle Santos and Aunt Belle about 6 weeks ago. It was good to see family.